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Critics / Authors Reviews and Articles
ERIK CHILDRESS
Erik Childress

PUBLICATION(S)
• Apollo Guide
• eFilmCritic.com

BIOGRAPHY
Erik started reviewing films as a frequent guest on the Jonathon Brandmeier Radio Showgram (105.9 FM in Chicago / 97.1 FM in LA) back in 1998 through 2001, which led to a mailing list over the Internet of his reviews to listeners of the radio show.
more...

CONTACT INFO
Email Critic

STATS
Total Reviews: 929
Total QuickRatings: 22

CRITICS GROUP(S)
• Online Film Critics Society
• Chicago Film Critics Association

OTHER INFO
• Official Website(s)
• Quote
• Favorites
• Location: Elk Grove Village, IL (Chicago)


SECTIONS
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Movie Reviews
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Worst Reviewed Films
QuickRatings
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HOME ABOUT MOVIES INTERVIEWS BEST WORST QUICK RATINGS OTHER
WORST REVIEWED FILMS

Genre:   # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ... (1-50 of 113) Next »
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T-METER
/
0/4
 
" If the Weinsteins had any soul themselves they would take this film and bury it along with every other film they seem to these days instead of trying to cash it in as some misbegotten tribute to Bernie Mac's legacy." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 6, 2008
 
Soul Men (2008)44%
/
0/4
 
" With one head-gnawing plot contrivance after another, it may think it's the wacky Iraq version of Easy Rider but is more like this year's Around the Bend or Diamonds." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 25, 2008
 
The Lucky Ones (2008)33%
/
0/4
 
" The greatest excuse yet to get that anti-M. Night petition started. The last thing we want is a future of Shyamalan films with the knowledge that we all could have done something sooner." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 13, 2008
 
The Happening (2008)19%
/
0/4
 
" Having the story of Cinderella play a significant role in the feature introduces the deadpan irony that this version is told through the eyes of the stepsisters like a big screen version of Wicked only without the happy ending." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 29, 2008
 
Sex and the City - The Movie (2008)50%
/
0/4
 
" A distinctly awful cover version of 'I Want A New Drug' plays on the soundtrack and is a direct thought to the audience who is going to need something a lot stronger to make it through this unrelentless excuse for a romantic comedy." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 8, 2008
 
What Happens in Vegas (2008)27%
/
0/4
 
" Justin Zackham's screenplay should be the first to be banned from writing classes everywhere let alone hospitals and support groups." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Dec 24, 2007
 
The Bucket List (2007)41%
/
0/4
 
" Imagine the worst possible idea for a Parent Trap sequel that manages to combine elements of Stigmata, Dune, The Empire Strikes Back, The Corsican Brothers and Blue Man Group." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 27, 2007
 
I Know Who Killed Me (2007)8%
/
0/4
 
" Chuck & Larry is such an abysmal stab at comedy on every conceivable level that I wish there was a hate group we could join to protest it." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 19, 2007
 
I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry (2007)13%
/
0/4
 
" Easily the most insufferable film experience in a year that has already given us Wild Hogs, The Hills Have Eyes 2 and Premonition." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 28, 2007
 
Evening (2007)27%
/
0/4
 
" It would have served Keith better to pick a project that didn't accentuate a character who stumbles around an aimless plot with the same confusion of Bruce Banner coming down from one of his 'smash' moods." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 8, 2006
 
Broken Bridges (2006)5%
/
0/4
 
" If it were any more obtuse, The New World would be a flipbook where the moving picture was obscured by a thumb drawn over the stick figures." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Dec 22, 2005
 
The New World (2005)61%
/
0/4
 
" If my Johnson Rod had ink it could craft a picture flipbook better than this." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 16, 2005
 
Supercross: The Movie (2005)5%
/
0/4
 
" The film is like vomiting and then expecting your shoes to come out of your mouth. Neither is a pleasant experience, but on some level it has to be seen to be believed." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Oct 30, 2003
 
Suspended Animation (2003)50%
/
0/4
 
" Seeing Bad Boys II at the critic's screening was like being in the audience watching Springtime for Hitler on opening night; a torrential downpour of horrific detestation, then laughter so thick at how insanely preposterous it all gets." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jul 17, 2003
 
Bad Boys II (2003)24%
/
0/4
 
" Surely the rocker, an incredible admirer of horror films, realized his final product wasn’t above the standards of the kind of straight-to-video shlock that even Elvira or Sybil Danning would be ashamed to present." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 10, 2003
 
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)16%
/
0/4
 
" I’m ashamed that this movie exists, that people got paid for it and that someone out there will eventually add it to their DVD collection." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Mar 6, 2003
 
Bringing Down the House (2003)34%
/
0/4
 
" This is one of the most painful, loathesomey, unfunny big studio, mainstream star vehicle comedies I’ve had to sit through in a long time." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 26, 2002
 
Sweet Home Alabama (2002)37%
/
0/4
 
" A Knight’s Tale is a boil on the festering malignant state of the cinema and it should be lanced immediately." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 7, 2001
 
A Knight's Tale (2001)59%
/
0/4
 
" Just Visiting is like going out to eat, being handed the check first and then told to leave with a rampant case of incurable indigestion." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 5, 2001
 
Just Visiting (2001)33%
/
0.5/4
 
" We're in for a bumpy ride on Anderson's Bi-polar express where the line between homage and ripoff is never as blurry as his action sequences. His Ben-Hur chariot race would have needed nothing more than one set of horses, a couple human heads and a wheel." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 21, 2008
 
Death Race (2008)42%
/
0.5/4
 
" Speed Racer devolves into one of the most painfully ill-conceived borefests to ever grace a summer movie season and an easy candidate of one of 2008's worst films." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted May 8, 2008
 
Speed Racer (2008)36%
/
0.5/4
 
" Deal has to take the title of the worst film ever about the game and that includes the how-to videos with Joan Rivers impersonators you see in your Vegas hotel room." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 24, 2008
 
Deal (2008)0%
/
0.5/4
 
" Will likely make its own mark on history as the single most relentlessly self-conscious vanity project to ever be conceived." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 7, 2007
 
Chapter 27 (2008)20%
/
0.5/4
 
" If there is someone out there willing to support Hitman and who believes that it conforms to the basic attributes of a cinematic experience, then there is something wrong with you." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 20, 2007
 
Hitman (2007)15%
/
0.5/4
 
" A tediously unimaginative short story run amok that will somehow put kids to sleep who are already sleeping and maybe wake up adults who were overly harsh on Barry Levinson for Toys." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 15, 2007
 
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)36%
/
0.5/4
 
" You could make the same movie using the music of Huey Lewis. And most likely a less embarrassing one." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 20, 2007
 
Across the Universe (2007)54%
/
0.5/4
 
" I can imagine Albert Brooks sitting in a theater watching this garbage and praying that it actually ends like Easy Rider." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Mar 1, 2007
 
Wild Hogs (2007)14%
/
0.5/4
 
" The worst kind of cinematic parable; a self-aware mixture of quirk and depression populated by some of the most oppressively infuriating characters imaginable." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Oct 26, 2006
 
Running with Scissors (2006)29%
/
0.5/4
 
" So haphazardly fails to recognize the ironies of its own failings that it unwittingly makes George W. Bush funnier...when he's TRYING to be funny." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Oct 12, 2006
 
Man of the Year (2006)20%
/
0.5/4
 
" A film so boring, overextended and endlessly moronic that my high school called to downgrade my GPA for having sat through it." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 29, 2005
 
Into the Blue (2005)22%
/
0.5/4
 
" Succumbs to a depth of directorial incompetence not seen since the likes of Megaforce" -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 28, 2005
 
XXX: State of the Union (2005)16%
/
0.5/4
 
" One of the worst filmed musicals I’ve ever seen, and that includes Cop Rock" -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Dec 21, 2004
 
Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera (2004)33%
/
0.5/4
 
" As if Stone was trying to one-up the legendary Great himself by going all over the map, he reaches for so much and dies so early." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 23, 2004
 
Alexander (2004)16%
/
0.5/4
 
" Not since the day I read Mein Kampf and rented Shoah have I had an experience so joyless and laugh-free" -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 23, 2004
 
Christmas with the Kranks (2004)5%
/
0.5/4
 
" There’s no sense of comic timing and director Gary Preisler wouldn’t know screwball from a set of anal beads." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 14, 2004
 
National Lampoon's Gold Diggers (2004)0%
/
0.5/4
 
" The Hillside Strangler is like the not-to version of Spike Lee’s Summer of Sam with a dose of castor oil and raw eggs on the motion sickness ride to cinematic hell." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 14, 2004
 
The Hillside Strangler (2004)n/a
/
0.5/4
 
" God knows, a thirteen-year-old would have more sense. But that age is too sophisticated for dreck like this." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 22, 2004
 
13 Going on 30 (2004)64%
/
0.5/4
 
" So thick with a contrived laughability that your only recourse is to start believing that you’re watching a comedy." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Feb 18, 2004
 
Book of Love (2004)n/a
/
0.5/4
 
" My exhibit M this year alone on why Gigli CAN’T be the worst film ever made." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Sep 25, 2003
 
Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)63%
/
0.5/4
 
" Both American AND French cultures get shortsighted, religious and political moirés into fidelity are brushed away and the film shifts from melodrama to farce to tragedy and back to comedy (using that term lightly) at the drop of a razor." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 7, 2003
 
Le Divorce (2003)38%
/
0.5/4
 
" Fire. Water. Air. Earth. Whatever. Everyone is so out of their element with The Core that not even Milla Jovovich could save it." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Mar 27, 2003
 
The Core (2003)42%
/
0.5/4
 
" Like the film rating that the title recalls, children AND adults should not be allowed admission." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Aug 8, 2002
 
XXX (2002)47%
/
0.5/4
 
" Even Vegas Vacation was wise enough to distance itself from the humorists responsible for such comedy landmarks as Loaded Weapon 1, Senior Trip and Golf Punks." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 4, 2002
 
National Lampoon's Van Wilder (2002)18%
/
0.5/4
 
" Resident Evil is what comes from taking John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars and eliminating the beheadings. In other words, about as bad a film you’re likely to see all year." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Mar 14, 2002
 
Resident Evil (2002)34%
/
0.5/4
 
" An unapologetic flag waving military action flick that just happens to suck really, really bad." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Nov 29, 2001
 
Behind Enemy Lines (2001)36%
/
0.5/4
 
" It’s a terrible film that made no effort of anything but to find a track and go real fast in hope that we wouldn’t realize we were only going straight and making lefts." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 24, 2001
 
Driven (2001)13%
/
14/100
 
Click here to read article -- Apollo Guide
Posted Jan 1, 2000
 
Interceptor Force (1999)n/a
/
15/100
 
Click here to read article -- Apollo Guide
Posted Jan 1, 2000
 
Combat Shock (1986)n/a
/
1/5
 
" A mish-mash of the worst traits of Boll, Luc Besson and all the fears promised of the Cold War." -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Jun 16, 2007
 
Day Watch (2007)63%
/
1/5
 
" For all the posturing that sexually politicized Americans use to praise the French and their liberating attitudes towards funtime, why is it that their most sexually charged films do their best to sicken rather than explore or educate?" -- eFilmCritic.com
Posted Apr 9, 2005
 
Ma Mere (2005)12%

Genre:   # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ... (1-50 of 113) Next »
* Sort by Rating: Sort results by this critic's rating. This option is only available for critics with a rating system (4 star, letter grade, 1-10, etc.)
* Sort by T-meter: Sort results by the Tomatometer (percentage of critics recommending a certain movie)
 
 
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