ROTTEN TOMATOES: Brian Orndorf

WORST REVIEWED FILMS

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F	" A picture of deliberate stupidity and derivative artistry, Punisher: War Zone is so atrocious it makes professional wrestling look like a whimsical afternoon with Shakespeare in the Park by comparison." -- BrianOrndorf.com Posted Dec 4, 2008	Punisher: War Zone (2008)	15%
F	" American Carol reinforces how needlessly divisive our country has become. Certainly there's a better way to say "Yay America!" than this lousy, hopeless movie, easily one of the worst films of the year." -- BrianOrndorf.com Posted Oct 3, 2008	An American Carol (2008)	14%
F	" *I'm not sure if Disaster* is the worst movie the boys have churned out, but, at this point, that's like asking if a bullet hurts more than a knife.*" -- BrianOrndorf.com* Posted Aug 28, 2008	Disaster Movie (2008)	2%
F	" The remake takes everything that was imaginative about the original feature and reduces it to an ear-splitting energy drink commercial, topped off with some of the worst filmmaking decisions to be found at the multiplex this year." -- BrianOrndorf.com Posted Aug 21, 2008	Death Race (2008)	42%
F	" Superhero Movie deserves a special place in the burning fires of Hell, where lazy writing, insipid direction, and an unforgivable eagerness towards bottom-feeding stupidity can roast along with the rest of the spoof genre's recent offerings." -- BrianOrndorf.com Posted Mar 28, 2008	Superhero Movie! (2008)	13%
F	" Paranoid Park confirms that Gus Van Sant is so far up his own artistic anus, it's impossible to take anything he makes seriously anymore...a crisp, white hanky doused with cinematic chloroform pressed tightly across the face." -- BrianOrndorf.com Posted Mar 12, 2008	Paranoid Park (2008)	74%
F	" Witless Protection is disgusting, racist, clueless, sexist, charmless, unfunny, infantile, mean-spirited, amateurish, and insulting. In other words, it stars Larry The Cable Guy." -- DVDTalk.com Posted Feb 22, 2008	Witless Protection (2008)	0%
F	" It's a total and complete misfire of intention and execution; an utterly worthless, unfunny sack of pain that doesn't deserve anyone's time or attention." -- eFilmCritic.com Posted Feb 7, 2008	The Hottie & the Nottie (2008)	5%
F	" *OK, I get it now: Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg are agents of Satan himself, and their recruitment video is Meet the Spartans...a new low even for these diseased buffoons." -- eFilmCritic.com* Posted Jan 25, 2008	Meet the Spartans (2008)	2%
F	" It seems the only thing worse than a faulty culture shock comedy with zero charm is a faulty culture shock comedy with zero charm starring Ali Larter." -- DVDTalk.com Posted Jul 29, 2008	Marigold (2007)	33%
F	" It's a pageant of stupidity that hopes gushing wounds and deliberate fanboy-catnip slices of ultraviolent cheese will mask the reality that it's a worthless offering in an increasingly abused genre." -- DVDTalk.com Posted Apr 1, 2008	Day of the Dead (2007)	n/a
F	" Boy, this is the last time I listen to my penis for movie selection advice...watching Anderson and Richards squirm, shimmy, and squeal their way around this stinker is enough to make one give up on the dream of overinflated, untalented starlets forever." -- DVDTalk.com Posted Feb 3, 2008	Blonde and Blonder (2007)	n/a
F	" It's easy to hog pile on Jessica Simpson, and certainly "Blonde Ambition" makes a great case to grab a flaming torch and run her out of the acting world for the rest of time. Perhaps if Simpson acted like an adult for once it would be a different story." -- DVDTalk.com Posted Jan 21, 2008	Blonde Ambition (2007)	14%
F	" A vile, joyless, murky, moronic, amateurish, contemptuous, numbing, unintentionally hilarious, and thoroughly diseased motion picture...a middle-finger to the paying crowd." -- eFilmCritic.com Posted Dec 25, 2007	Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)	14%
F	" One of the worst excuses for a mainstream comedy to be found this year...a loathsome filmgoing experience, created by the brain-dead for the brain-dead." -- eFilmCritic.com Posted Oct 19, 2007	The Comebacks (2007)	10%
F	" *A horrid excuse for teen escapism...for those who find Hannah Montana* too challenging.*" -- eFilmCritic.com* Posted Oct 5, 2007	Feel the Noise (2007)	14%
F	" *If there's a Hell, an honest-to-God place of eternal torment, Shoot 'Em Up* would make the ideal introductory video, promising a lifetime of anguish to come.*" -- eFilmCritic.com* Posted Sep 6, 2007	Shoot 'Em Up (2007)	67%
F	" *It turns out Wan is a legitimately atrocious filmmaker, and Sentence* is his Exile on Main St. of awful.*" -- eFilmCritic.com* Posted Aug 31, 2007	Death Sentence (2007)	19%
F	" You see, when these barely legal billboards walk down the street in short skirts and porn star makeup, they're just expressing their creativity and livin' life to the fullest. Holla!" -- OhmyNews.com Posted Aug 3, 2007	Bratz: The Movie (2007)	7%
F	" Who could've predicted a bust for alleged cocaine possession, vocational self-destruction, and a general display of young Hollywood stupidity would be the career highlight of Lohan's weekend." -- eFilmCritic.com Posted Jul 27, 2007	I Know Who Killed Me (2007)	8%
F	" I never, ever imagined the experience of spending 80 minutes watching Elisha Cuthbert could be so punishing and vile." -- eFilmCritic.com Posted Jul 13, 2007	Captivity (2007)	7%
F	" Mix Blade, a dash of Point Blank, and one of the worst movies you could imagine, and that's pretty close to capturing the experience of viewing Rise: Blood Hunter." -- eFilmCritic.com Posted Jun 2, 2007	Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)	36%
F	" The film isn't simply bad, it's a trainwreck." -- OhmyNews.com Posted May 10, 2007	28 Weeks Later (2007)	71%
F	" Redline is a direct-to-knucklehead release that refuses to bow out gracefully." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Apr 13, 2007	Redline (2007)	0%
F	" Wes Craven would like the audience to think they're having a nightmarish good time, but I don't recall repeated internal urgings to run screaming from the theater in unstoppable bad movie agony in the recipe for fun." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Mar 23, 2007	The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)	11%
F	" The spirit of Edward D. Wood Jr. is alive and well, and currently taking up residence in the movies of James Wan and Leigh Whannell." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Mar 16, 2007	Dead Silence (2007)	18%
F	" Daddy's Little Girls is a frightening step backwards for the Perry empire, revealing a filmmaker who I once thought was just kidding around, but now it turns out he's legitimately incompetent and irresponsible." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Feb 14, 2007	Daddy's Little Girls (2007)	25%
F	" On January 26th, I have witnessed what is assured to be the worst film I will behold all year." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Jan 26, 2007	Epic Movie (2007)	2%
F	" Essentially, the experience is watching awful actors playing dumb people in a story that carries no weight or emotional investment. This is one pup that needs to be put to sleep." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Jan 13, 2007	Alpha Dog (2007)	55%
F	" It's desperately punch-yourself-in-the-face awful in every single way. Why oh why couldn't Billy gouge my eyes out?" -- OhmyNews.com Posted Dec 25, 2006	Black Christmas (2006)	17%
F	" Since this stars Dax Shepard, a more appropriate title for Prison might've been Relentlessly Awful, Laugh-Free, Cinematic Torture Device." -- OhmyNews.com Posted Nov 17, 2006	Let's Go to Prison (2006)	8%
F	" I've not witnessed a more torturously boring, convoluted, and eye-wateringly moronic chiller this year." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Nov 10, 2006	The Return (2006)	15%
F	" *There once was a time not too long ago when Dane Cook was a luminous comedic talent. With Employee of the Month,* it looks like that era is over.*" -- FilmJerk.com* Posted Oct 6, 2006	Employee of the Month (2006)	21%
F	" *Riddled with obtuse plotting and a noticeable lack of continuity, Pulse* steams forward with such unabashed inanity, you really have to give your brain a rest to even make it to the end.*" -- FilmJerk.com* Posted Aug 11, 2006	Pulse (2006)	12%
F	" Sadly, Kane has all the cinematic presence of a shaved ape, and possesses acting skills that make Vin Diesel look like vintage 1974 Pacino." -- FilmJerk.com Posted May 19, 2006	See No Evil (2006)	9%
F	" That's how awful this picture is. It can't even come up with new diarrhea jokes." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Mar 24, 2006	Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006)	6%
F	" Stay Alive consistently proves itself to be the most idiotic film this year that wasn't directed by Uwe Boll." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Mar 24, 2006	Stay Alive (2006)	9%
F	" *It's just February, and we've already found a film worse than BloodRayne.* I didn't think it would happen that fast, but here we are.*" -- FilmJerk.com* Posted Feb 17, 2006	Date Movie (2006)	6%
F	" BloodRayne is a visual joke, with Boll limply organizing a period horror/action film with all the confidence and subtlety of Baby Huey, and with about the same level of literacy." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Jan 6, 2006	BloodRayne (2006)	4%
F	" Stunningly, the end of 'The L.A. Riot Spectacular' promises a sequel taking on the OJ Simpson trial. If I have to physically go to the west coast and prevent this from happening, I'm prepared to make that commitment." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Aug 4, 2006	The L.A. Riot Spectacular (2005)	29%
F	" If you're new to this crazy Mel Brooks creation, this 2005 cinematic torture chamber is the last way anyone should experience it for the first time." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Dec 23, 2005	The Producers (2005)	51%
F	" *The depths of stupidity that Mix* plunges to are alarming, even for something this intentionally insignificant.*" -- FilmJerk.com* Posted Nov 23, 2005	In The Mix (2005)	11%
F	" *How else could a nightmare of sight and sound like Domino* be explained? Tony Scott has lost his storytelling abilities, and now he wants to punish us all.*" -- FilmJerk.com* Posted Oct 13, 2005	Domino (2005)	19%
F	" Into the Blue is such a smorgasbord of action, clich�s, and bad acting, that it will make your head spin in ways John Stockwell wasn�t counting on." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Sep 29, 2005	Into the Blue (2005)	22%
F	" Stealth is a dreadful, forgettable, abusive motion picture, and it makes the January stinker Alone in the Dark look Kubrickian in comparison." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Jul 28, 2005	Stealth (2005)	13%
F	" *The ferociously tedious and ostentatious Last Days* is an insult to the sad life of a rock legend.** " -- FilmJerk.com Posted Jul 21, 2005	Last Days (2005)	60%
F	" *Oh yes, it�s Catwoman* bad.*" -- FilmJerk.com* Posted Jul 7, 2005	Fantastic Four (2005)	26%
F	" Love isn�t insulting, just blindingly tedious, achingly unfunny, and negligently directed." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Apr 21, 2005	A Lot Like Love (2005)	41%
F	" Horror audiences should come to realize that Hollywood hates them if this is the best effort they could provide after making the same movie twice." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Feb 25, 2005	Cursed (2005)	17%
F	" If anyone were pondering what Ed Wood would be like today if he were armed with foreign financing and computer effects, look no further than Uwe Boll." -- FilmJerk.com Posted Jan 26, 2005	Alone in the Dark (2005)	1%

Genre: # a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z
Results for All Genres ...	*(1-50* of 318) Next** »

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