"Zoom" Tomatometer: Zero
"Zoom" is soaring, flying high into the rarified territory where only seven films before it have ventured. The film, which stars Tim Allen and Courteney Cox, is joining an exclusive club -- films with more than 20 reviews that have garnered not a single "Fresh" rating from critics. In other words, we're talking nada, zilch, zero.
Allen is no stranger to the extremes of the Tomatometer; both "Toy Story" movies are at 100 percent, but he also starred in "Christmas with the Kranks," which scored a robust four percent. Likewise, "Zoom" director Peter Hewitt has touched greatness before this misstep (his filmography includes the most righteous "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey").
That's right, gang -- your chances of escaping from the bottom of the Tomatometer look pretty bleak.
The reviews of "Zoom," which was not screened for critics in advance of its release, run the gamut from the negative (Christy Lemire of the Associated Press says, "It has plenty of energy and visual effects but not a single original idea in its spandex-clad head") to the out-and-out disparaging ("One of the most dismal excuses for family entertainment ever perpetrated by a major studio," raves Maitland McDonagh of TV Guide). And for those of you who tend to ignore those snooty critics, let it be known that "Zoom" also tanked at the box office, raking in only $4.4 million, money that would certainly do Amnesty International a world of good.
"With my latest invention, I'll magically transform the reviews for 'Zoom' into the reviews for 'X-Men.'"
For those masochists out there who are too busy to watch "The Decalogue," here's the rest of the zero-percenters for your viewing (dis)pleasure:
Allen is no stranger to the extremes of the Tomatometer; both "Toy Story" movies are at 100 percent, but he also starred in "Christmas with the Kranks," which scored a robust four percent. Likewise, "Zoom" director Peter Hewitt has touched greatness before this misstep (his filmography includes the most righteous "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey").
That's right, gang -- your chances of escaping from the bottom of the Tomatometer look pretty bleak.
The reviews of "Zoom," which was not screened for critics in advance of its release, run the gamut from the negative (Christy Lemire of the Associated Press says, "It has plenty of energy and visual effects but not a single original idea in its spandex-clad head") to the out-and-out disparaging ("One of the most dismal excuses for family entertainment ever perpetrated by a major studio," raves Maitland McDonagh of TV Guide). And for those of you who tend to ignore those snooty critics, let it be known that "Zoom" also tanked at the box office, raking in only $4.4 million, money that would certainly do Amnesty International a world of good.
"With my latest invention, I'll magically transform the reviews for 'Zoom' into the reviews for 'X-Men.'"
For those masochists out there who are too busy to watch "The Decalogue," here's the rest of the zero-percenters for your viewing (dis)pleasure:
- Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) (98 reviews)
- Pinocchio (2002) (53 reviews)
- King's Ransom (2005) (44 reviews)
- National Lampoon's Gold Diggers (2004) (39 reviews)
- Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) (36 reviews)
- 3 Strikes (2000) (28 reviews)
- Daltry Calhoun (2005) (26 reviews)
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(1-15 of 15 posts) | Reply
 on Aug 14 2006 06:26 PM [b]I thought it rocked![/b] The critics really dropped the ball on this one. (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 14 2006 06:38 PM critics suck! (Reply to this) |
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on Aug 14 2006 07:23 PM Wow. While seeing Monster House, I jokilingly commented to my friend about how far Tim Allen's career has fallen. I guess it's fallen even farther than I realized. (Reply to this) |
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on Aug 14 2006 07:50 PM some of the funniest reviews I have ever read!!! (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 14 2006 11:36 PM Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever has that many reviews and not a single good one! That is pretty bad. (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 15 2006 12:40 AM I feel really bad for Courteney Cox. Barnyard and Zoom? That's really horrible... (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 15 2006 12:55 AM In reply to this comment (#842141) Yeah, at least Barnyard did modestly well at the box office. But Zoom. Ouch. (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 15 2006 07:07 AM wow,this film must really suck (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 15 2006 07:51 AM In reply to this comment (#842140) [b]Proud[/b] I am proud to say that I found Ballistic enjoyable. The movie was directed by a guy calling himself Kaos. Zoom has a way to go to beat the 98 reviews held by title holder E vs S. (Reply to this) |
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on Aug 15 2006 10:52 AM Is anyone really surprised by this? "Zoom" is pale imitation of "Sky-High," Tim Allen is already a has-been, and not one of the kids in the film has the slightest bit of appeal. The only thing this movie has going for it is Courtney Cox (what happened to the 'Arquette,' by the way?) and one has to wonder why her agents thought this was a good project for her. A complete waste of everyone's time. (Reply to this) |
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on Aug 15 2006 01:23 PM [b]For those of you who did not like this film....[/b] It is a fairytale and a bedtime story - if you can not see the beauty in this wonderful original story, I must say, I think your brain is too dense and I think you should stop watching movies. You are all so hung up on the fact that it did not have a 'twist' but if you really listened deeply you would see that there was a VERY strong message in this film, something M. Night puts in all of his movies. Like I said, you are all too dense to understand it... This movie was one of my favorites! It had so much emotion it made me go back and see it 2 more times just so I could feel what I felt the first time I saw it. (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 15 2006 01:46 PM In reply to this comment (#842146) Are you talking about Zoom or Lady in the Water? Cuz you sound like moron right now. I think you might have posted on the wrong forum (Reply to this) |
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on Aug 15 2006 05:52 PM In reply to this comment (#842146) You must be talking about Lady in the Water, but if you are talking about "Zoom" you should get an award for the best piece of written satire I've read all year!! (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 15 2006 09:26 PM [b]It's another Kid's movie that's been done a thousa[/b] Just glancing at the review and it makes you feel sick to your stomach , Spy Kids , Sky High , X-Men , Fantastic 4 , it copies off all of these films and so much more . I don't even need to see the movie to know it would put a 4 year old to sleep . 0.0 out of 5 - Not Viewing . (Reply to this) |
 on Aug 16 2006 10:40 AM Well it's tied Daltry now with 26 bad reviews. (Reply to this) |
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